


Evergreen

by CodenamePegasus



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Abduction, Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BDSM, Bondage and Discipline, Breathplay, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dating, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, Dominance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fingerfucking, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Gratuitous Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Kinks, Marriage, Mental Health Issues, Non-Consensual Touching, Not Beta Read, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Orgasm, Porn with Feelings, Pregnancy, Safeword Use, Season/Series 01, Season/Series 02, Slow Build, Soulmates, Submission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:20:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22062442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CodenamePegasus/pseuds/CodenamePegasus
Summary: What if Scully never scanned Duane Barry's implant? Where would life have taken her and Mulder? This fic seeks the answers. Co-Writer: Julia MaxwellMy work is free to read on AO3. It may not be shared on any other website or platform EXCEPT AO3. Please do not tip, subscribe, or pay for Fanfic Pocket Archive Library or any fanfic apps! I do not receive any money. These app’s are making money off my work.
Relationships: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 12
Kudos: 97





	1. The Preface

Dear TXF fandom, one thing has always upset me about the show: everything bad that happened to Scully was created by her own decision. One little decision, and her whole world went to shit. She scanned an implant (something that I personally have always found SO OOC), and that scan led to:

1\. Scully's kidnapping/abduction (because the scan acted like a beacon to her every move and woke up Duane Barry).  
2\. Scully being impregnated (leading to the birth & subsequent death of Emily).  
3\. Scully's own implant (and removal, leading to her cancer).  
4\. Scully becoming barren and her eggs stolen from her.  
5\. Scully's future son having special powers (thereby having to give him up for adoption).

There's more, but for now, that will suffice. As I've stated, I found this one decision OOC, as Scully went by the book on EVERYTHING (unless she was saving Mulder, in which, yes, she did illegal things!). I get why Chris Carter had her kidnapped (as Gillian was pregnant and needed time off), but I DESPISE that he wrote her doing something OOC, and that one decision led to ALL OF THIS. Scully isn't stupid. Scully understands the consequences of her actions. So, I began thinking...what if she didn't scan the implant? What if she did what Scully would normally do? Suppose she went to Mulder and they went back to FBI Headquarters? Suppose they did the scan in a safe environment (which sounds more like Scully)? Suppose Duane Barry woke up, but now he would have to get to Scully another way? How would the outcome of that change things? Future cases? Work relationship? Friendship? Their burgeoning romance that seemed on the brink of just beginning when all of this happened? What about Mulder's EPIC guilt? Would that still be present? So many questions that I felt needed to be answered, and so, I came up with this. 

Now, a couple of things to know:

1\. I have not read a lot of TXF fanfic. I'm sure someone somewhere has already written this. I'm a new fan, so that's quite possible. I personally have not read anything like this.  
2\. This fic will begin in Season 1, briefly going over thoughts leading up to Season 2 and the Duane Barry case. From that case on, it will pick up with more dialogue.  
3\. Scully's father is still dead in my fic, but her sister is not.  
4\. Mulder's sister is still gone in my fic.  
5\. After the Duane Barry episode, my fic veers into AU. S2E6-S2E8 DO NOT HAPPEN. Mulder doesn't go to LA to sleep with a fuckin vampire (eck). Something does happen during that time span to where their next case is Firewalker (S2E9).  
6\. All past facts about Mulder and Scully remain (except Scully's boyfriend in S1E1, which I am choosing to ignore).  
7\. This fic will veer into case files, sex, leavin the FBI, marriage, babies, & BDSM. There will be non-con stuff, but that is related to extraneous things outside of their marriage.  
8\. I'm of the firm belief that Scully secretly wants to be a sub, but only with Mulder (as he's the only one she would consider it with). I'm also of the belief that Mulder would make a very thorough, but sweet and loving Dom.  
8\. About that BDSM...I KNOW, OKAY. I KNOW. I've studied this extensively, and I've got a co-writer (Julia Maxwell) who actually has degrees in psychology and knows SO MUCH about sexuality it's INSANE. I promise it will be very real. No sensationalism. No 50 shades shit. I'm trying to portray what a real couple in the 1990's would have gone through. As Mulder has a Bachelor's Degree in psychology, my guess is that he has a good grasp on the aspects of BDSM and what it entails.  
9\. CSM and Diana won't have much of a role in this fic (as CSM wasn't directly involved with them in the first 2 seasons, and Diana didn't make an appearance until Season 5). There is some dialogue about them, but they are background characters, as is Walter Skinner.

And that's it. I have no idea how many chapters this will be. It's in the process of being written. I have other projects going on right now, but having a partner is greatly helping me in keeping track of everything. Big Thank You to Julia for getting my ass in gear on this baby! I honestly welcome constructive feedback you'd like to give. I'm always open to other interpretations :) Enjoy ♥


	2. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evergreen meaning - timeless, enduring, ageless, classic.
> 
> My work is free to read on AO3. It may not be shared on any other website or platform EXCEPT AO3. Please do not tip, subscribe, or pay for Fanfic Pocket Archive Library or any fanfic apps! I do not receive any money. These app’s are making money off my work.

Dana Scully wasn’t sure when she fell in love with Fox Mulder. She could tell you when she first felt it, when she could finally admit it to herself, when she could say it out loud. The moment she fell in love, though? It felt like it started right from the beginning. The first moment their eyes met. The first breath they took in the same room. The first time their hands touched. It’s so cliché that even she can’t stomach that with a straight face. She’s a scientist, after all. She goes on facts, not feelings.

She knows she’s never been in love before Mulder (because the love she feels for him has captured her heart and soul to the point she can’t see straight or think clearly). Her relationships before were…nothing like this. 

Some were fleetingly fun and light (which she now attributes to a crush or puppy love), like her relationship with Marcus in high school. It didn’t last long. It couldn’t, because at some point, one finds out they really have nothing in common with the other except physical attraction, and that fades quite quickly. Her relationship with Marcus fizzled out shortly after she arrived at the University of Maryland in 1982. 

It was during her four years at college that she realized something about herself pertaining to sex: She wasn’t cut out for one night stands or casual sex. Sex meant something to her, even if she couldn’t let go completely and be a wild vixen. She needed trust and honesty and compassion from her partner. She needed communication and understanding. She learned during those years that she would get none of those needs met from strangers and frat boys. After a few unsatisfying and awkward attempts, she gave up on the male sex and focused her attention on her studies in physics. She got virtuous nicknames from those same boys, but it encouraged her to raise her head higher and kick their ass in tests and standings. She graduated in 1986 with a Bachelor of Science in Physics, and made her way to Stanford University for medical school.

Medical school was a different universe. In those three years, she made close friends and felt surrounded by people who took their studies seriously. Of course, the moment she felt secure in her studies, she met the man she thought she was in love with. Dr. Daniel Waterston was her professor. A gorgeous, intelligent instructor who kept his eye on her for years, he had a commanding presence over all who studied under him and worked for him. He had many of the same attributes of her own father: hard-working, knowledgeable, a perfectionist. Daniel expected the best from her every time, and he singled her out and worked one on one with her if he saw her struggling. He made her feel special. He made her feel seen. She would be lying if she said she didn’t get a certain thrill seeing him every day. What she thought was simply a helping hand with her studies eventually turned to conversations over coffee, late night takeout at the hospital while going over patient’s history, and, sometimes, hand-holding or hugs on a bad day. She knew nothing of Daniel’s personal life. He spent so much time at the hospital and university that she honestly thought he was single. She often wondered if he was divorced or a widower, but she felt sure he was single based on how much time he spent with her and his work. 

After graduating from medical school in 1989, she began her residency in forensic medicine. Daniel was less than pleased with her decision. For almost a year, he’d been working hard to dissuade her from pursuing forensics. Little comments here and there about how “good she’d be in internal medicine” and how her “talents would be wasted on the dead” began to seep into their conversations. It was hysterical how married they sounded, considering they’d never been intimate “in that way.” At this point, they’d kissed and definitely had make-out sessions in his office, and a few times, a broom closet. They had yet to actually sleep together, though. She made up excuses, such as she was tired, or it wasn’t private enough. Now, she knows why she never went through with it. Somewhere, in the recesses of her mind, she must have known that something was amiss with Daniel.

Later in 1989, the rug was pulled out from beneath her when she ended up seeing Daniel, and his wife and daughter, while out on the town with friends. She observed them together that night, and for a while, never told him she knew his secret. Inside, though, she was aching, because how could she ever trust anything he said again, and how could she be with a man who so obviously never spent time with his family? A few weeks after that night, the FBI came to see her, and heartbroken over Daniel’s lies, she left her residency behind to be an agent for the United States Government. Before she left, she told him what she knew, handed him a box, and then told him to go home to his wife. Inside the box were pictures they took together, jewelry he bought for her, and trinkets they collected over the years. She never knew what became of Daniel, but she hoped his family never found out about their relationship. She hoped he changed his ways and concentrated on what was really important.

The FBI Academy was tough, but the challenge of it kept her mind off Daniel. It was arduous and gruesome and the men gave her a hard time every second, but all the sweat and hurt her body went through made her feel alive in ways she’d never felt. She finally felt a sense of purpose; like she could be someone and make her mark working for the government. She took pride in her work, made friends along the way, and eventually, got herself a boyfriend. 

Jack Willis, like Daniel, was one of her instructors at the Academy. Unlike Daniel, he wasted no time letting her know his intentions. Jack didn’t mess around, and within a month, she was in his bed. They dated for a year, encompassing the whole time she was in the Academy, and ending partway through her time as an instructor herself in Forensics Investigations. In that year, they celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and their birthdays (which happened to be on the same day). Like many relationships, they had their ups and downs. Jack had a hard time relaxing. They ended up fighting a lot, then had aggressive make-up sex, which Scully knew wasn’t particularly healthy. She thought she was in love, and so she forgave many things she never should have. Those things she needed from Marcus, frat boys, and Daniel were still relevant to her, and at a certain point, she realized those needs were not being met by Jack either. She could trust Jack. He was an agent like her. He put his life on the line like her. He was also brutally honest, which sometimes she appreciated, and other times, she wished he had a filter. Jack’s communication skills left a lot to be desired though, and he lacked compassion and understanding, not only in life, but for her as well. On her 26th birthday in 1990, at some dive in Stratford that had a slanted pool table, she gave Jack a watch with the inscription, “Happy 35th, Love, D.” Later that year, she broke up with him, but remained his friend. They went to that same dive and celebrated their joint birthday in 1991 and 1992. A few weeks later, she would meet Fox Mulder in a dusty basement of the FBI building, and her world would change forever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something that I want to clarify pertaining to Scully and Daniel’s relationship: Gillian said she regretted the “necessary” script change of making Scully and Daniel’s affair “intimate.” In her original script, the two came “close to having an affair,” but Scully ended the relationship when she discovered he was married. I view “close to having an affair” as didn’t actually have sex. I really felt like they should have kept this in the episode. To me, Scully doesn’t seem like she would have an affair with a married man knowingly. So in my story, I’m following the original format that Gillian conceived for this relationship.


	3. Mulder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evergreen meaning - timeless, enduring, ageless, classic.
> 
> My work is free to read on AO3. It may not be shared on any other website or platform EXCEPT AO3. Please do not tip, subscribe, or pay for Fanfic Pocket Archive Library or any fanfic apps! I do not receive any money. These app’s are making money off my work.

She honestly thought, by the time she was 30, she would be married with children, and a doctor. When she decided to join the FBI, and then began dating Jack at 25, she thought her vision for the perfect life would become a reality. Now, here she was at 28 no closer to her vision. In fact, over the last 8 months of single life, she had become something of a hermit. After she broke up with Jack, she thought she’d go out with friends, travel on the weekends, and get back in the dating game. None of that happened. She sat at home watching The Learning Channel, cleaning her gun, making dinner for one, reading her books. She wasn’t sad or lonely, but she wasn’t happy either. Often, she felt like she was simply going through the motions. Get up early, get ready, go to work, drive home in traffic, make dinner, watch tv, take a bath, read her book, go to bed, repeat the next day.

She sometimes went out on the weekends to see her parents, and there were birthdays and weddings to go to, but often she claimed she was too busy or tired to hang out with friends. She told her family the same thing. She wasn’t sure why she made excuses. She couldn’t pinpoint why she didn’t want to go out. She was, essentially, in a rut. 

She’d been working as an FBI Academy Instructor in Forensics Investigations when she was called in to talk to Chief Blevins in March of 1992. When Blevins assigned her to the X-Files, part of her filled with dread at the thought of being a babysitter, but another part of her filled with excitement. Mulder had a nickname around the FBI due to his work. “Spooky” Mulder, they called him. She wondered if being “Spooky” Mulder’s partner might be the exact thing she needed. Here was her chance for something different. Something to get her out of this limbo she’d been stuck in for what seemed like years. By the time she was walking down the long hallway to The X-Files office, she was relishing every step. Salivation began before she could even knock on his door. The butterflies in her stomach were a breath of fresh air. In what seemed like a lifetime, Dana Scully felt ALIVE.

The first thing she noticed was his glasses. Somehow, he looked distinguished with them. Every inch the Oxford graduate she thought he would be. She was impressed with his intelligence, his knowledge about her, his wit. He was funny without trying to be. He seemed to not know how handsome he was. She also liked that he called her Dr. Scully. He seemed like the perfect guy, and she immediately felt drawn to him, which put her on high alert. She could not screw this up by getting involved with yet another man who was her superior. She tampered down her attraction to him. She had a job to do, and she wanted to do it well. Having feelings for her partner would just complicate everything. 

For a while, it worked. Their first case in Oregon was just the kind of excitement she’d been looking for. Sometimes he exasperated her, but usually, she laughed it off. She realized halfway through that first case, how much fun she was having: going back and forth over conspiracies, running around in the rain, getting chased, clues popping up here and there leading to a final conclusion that she’s still not certain of. 

She let down her guard at some point, which led to her showing up at his motel room late at night in her underwear and robe, frantic over a couple of mosquito bites she thought were something alien. She didn’t even think twice about dropping her robe in front of him, and only became cognizant of her decision when Mulder’s fingers grazed her lower back. Electricity went through her body, and a voice inside her head screamed at her to put her robe on and run back to her room, but then he laughed. He stood up and laughed at her, telling her it was nothing, and she relaxed immediately. Mulder hadn’t sexualized her in the moment. He didn’t come on to her. He did what any good partner would do and allayed her fears. She was so grateful to be treated like an equal that she pulled her robe over her body and turned to crush herself to him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. Eventually, his arms came around to hold her to him, and she became aware, again, of how close they were. She pulled away, needing space between them, and they proceeded to talk about their lives. He ended up on the floor leaning against the bed; she was lying down on his bed listening to him talk about losing his sister, Samantha. 

They talked about many things that night. Mulder discussed his time at Oxford, his love of Star Trek, playing right field in baseball, his time in the Violent Crimes Section, and how he got into the Behavioral Sciences Unit profiling serial killers. He brought up the beginnings of the X-Files and how he got involved with it, and he talked about people in the government blocking him from the truth. She listened mostly; feeling like it wasn’t the right time to divulge information about her own life. She got the feeling Mulder had less of a life than she did. He seemed lonely, even surrounded by people in a room. There was something melancholy about him, and she often had impulses to run her hand through his hair or pat his chest with her hand. 

There were a lot of firsts that happened quite early in their partnership. Their first hug happened on their first case. The first time she saved his ass happened on their second case in Idaho. The first time she felt Mulder had openly flirted with her was on their third case. The Tooms case was something she would never forget. She happened to wear a long necklace instead of her usual cross necklace one day, and Mulder grabbed the necklace to fix it so that it lay correctly on her chest. While he was touching her, he happened to be talking about being territorial. She could barely suppress a laugh, but it must have affected her more than she thought, as at the end of that case, she let her hand slide down his arm for the first time. That electricity was still present, and she had to pull her hand away as they left Tooms cell.

The first time Mulder ever pulled at her heart strings was their fourth case. Darlene Morris’s daughter haunted Mulder, and she caught him looking at her picture with a faraway look on his face. She knew he was thinking of Sam, and her heart ached for him. It was perhaps the first moment she realized her feelings for her partner were becoming much deeper than anticipated. 

The Jersey Devil, their fifth case, was another opportunity for her to bail Mulder out of a situation. This time, it literally was jail. It was the first time Scully felt jealously at his work. He put so much time and effort into the cases, and she found herself wishing he would put just a little more effort into her. When she went to her godson’s birthday party and met a nice dad, she decided to go out with him as a test. She’s ashamed to say she used him to see if Mulder would be jealous or show any interest, but Mulder barely flinched. Instead, he threw himself into the case even more, and Scully lost interest in the guy before the date even started. 

By the end of the case, she asked Mulder to take time off, even just an afternoon, but he laughed at her like she was joking. She realized then that Mulder had workaholic tendencies, and wondered about his mental stability if he used work to run away from his problems. She vowed, somehow, to get him to let go of the work sometimes, and to go out and have fun. She never realized until later; this was the beginning of her helping Mulder find something else in his life to live for, other than the X-Files and the pursuit of his sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little shorter than anticipated. I originally had this chapter and the next together, but it didn't gel right. So I've separated it, and it seems to flow better now. Thanks so much for the comments and kudos ♥


	4. Electricity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evergreen meaning - timeless, enduring, ageless, classic.
> 
> My work is free to read on AO3. It may not be shared on any other website or platform EXCEPT AO3. Please do not tip, subscribe, or pay for Fanfic Pocket Archive Library or any fanfic apps! I do not receive any money. These app’s are making money off my work.

Electricity is a strange thing. She and Mulder definitely had something electric going on between them; a certain kind of electrical current that created an undeniable chemistry. The more she tried to deny it, the stronger it got. Their sixth case, the Howard Graves case, in a way, involved electricity, and perhaps that was why she remembers the case as the beginning of their “chemistry.” 

It was one of the first cases that Mulder had put his hand on her back to lead her somewhere. That spot, she fondly thinks, became “his” spot. Every time he touched her there, a white hot current would rush through her body. For a split moment, she would be unsteady, but she forced herself to not show it. She wondered if he felt the same current rush through his body when he touched her, or when she touched him.

That was also the case of their first car accident. It left them both with a bit of whiplash and nasty headaches. Mulder helped her out of the car and pleaded with her to get checked out by the paramedics. She told him she was fine, but relented when he gave her the puppy dog eyes. It was just as she suspected, but he smiled at her as she rejoined him, and somehow, it made her feel giddy inside that he was happy she had done what he asked. She hated that giddy feeling, but loved it at the same time; for it felt like she was losing her independence, but gaining a love greater than anything she’d ever experienced.

It was also the first case that she could smell him due to their proximity. They had just left the coroner’s office and were in an elevator when Mulder put his arm around her shoulders and right next to her face, blew hot air on his glasses to reveal two fingerprints. Two things occurred to her at that moment: she was amazed at his prowess in getting clues, and she was intoxicated with his scent. Not just his cologne (a heady mixture of musk and sandalwood), but his personal scent that was all Mulder. He turned to her after revealing the fingerprints and smiled, and she smiled back, taking a deeper breath to really inhale him, and that one moment would stay with her for a long while, fueling her fantasies to come.

Elevators continued to come into play in their work. On their seventh case, the Jurisco case, an elevator stopped working. She fell down to the floor hard, and Mulder helped her up. Later, they had another car accident, but this one involved a psycho computer program pulling down a gate on their car. Mulder had to help her out of the car, and she felt empty when he pulled his arms away. Inside the Jurisco building, they had no alternative but to send her up into the air vents. She’d taken off her shoes and left her socks on. She was shaking with anticipation as she put her hands on Mulder’s shoulders and her foot in his cupped hands. Somehow, she felt this was incredibly intimate. He was only giving her a boost up, but her body slid against his as she was lifted above him. When she was within reach, she lifted her hands above her to grab the vent, and Mulder continued to lift her foot up until she was safely in. Once again, she felt bereft without his hands on her, but she shook it off and got down to business. She had a job to do. In the end, she ended up saving Mulder again.

However, all of that pales when compared to their eighth case: Alaska. That one stands out in her mind quite vividly. So many firsts happened there. The first time they pulled their guns on each other. The first time they couldn’t trust each other. The first time they really…really touched each other. More than his hand on her back, more than a brush of her fingers on his arm. No. Alaska brought out something dangerous in them; dominance, a need to control. 

Yes, they were in a dangerous place and a precarious situation, but locked in that storage container, she knew that if the time ever came that Mulder would make a move, she wouldn’t hesitate. She had checked him for signs of infection while definitely rubbing his skin longer than necessary. When she was sure he was clean, she turned to open the container, but he grabbed her and pulled her back. It was sudden and her heartbeat increased as he pulled her shirt partway down and brought his hands to her neck to move her hair out of the way. She knew he was checking her for signs of infection. She knew, but her body said screw logic and began to gravitate closer to him. He moved his hands across her neck and upper back, massaging her shoulders, and she found herself leaning into him. Once he was satisfied that she wasn’t infected, he stopped, but his hands lingered in that spot. She wanted him to keep massaging her skin. She wanted him to kiss her neck. She would have done anything in that little storage container if he’d asked her to. Yet, he didn’t. He simply pulled her shirt back up to cover her, and they opened the container. 

Then, things began to change between them. Mulder seemed to shy away, as if he knew he’d gotten too close to her, as if he’d crossed a line he shouldn’t. On their ninth case, he practically ignored her as she watched him get to meet his space hero and see a launch. She came down with a weird case of the green-eyed monster while watching Mulder interact with Michelle, even though she had a fiancé that she clearly loved, and had no desire to be with Mulder. She felt jealous anyway. 

On their next case, they met Max. She ended up having to save Mulder again, this time from military jail. The X-Files was threatened to close if Mulder didn’t behave himself. That just sent him into more of a tail dive to find evidence he dearly needed to keep The X-Files opened. On their 11th case, they had to deal with the Eve’s. The twins had really given her all the mommy feels. She’d felt horrible for them, losing their fathers and being kidnapped. When they turned out to be murderers, she went home and cried her eyes out in her tub. 

She didn’t know why then, but now she realizes that for one moment, when Mulder and she and the girls were in the car and stopping to get drinks…for one moment she pretended they were a family. She thought about having a family with him. What that would feel like. She wondered if they would treat each other differently or if they would go out for family dinners. She let herself daydream for just a moment, and then it all came crashing down, and once again she told herself: this is why we can’t have nice things. Nice things didn’t happen to her and Mulder. They never did. So she cried: for missed opportunities, bad timing, a man who was incapable of reading the obvious signs she sent out, being farther away from having a family then she was years ago and possibly losing her job at any moment because her partner didn’t know the meaning of play nice with the other children. 

If Alaska was dangerous for them, then their 12th case was absolute hellfire. Phoebe; how could she describe the bitch that was Mulder’s ex? A manipulating, man-eating, lying, twisted witch of a woman would suffice. The fact that Mulder even took the case infuriated her. Under Phoebe’s spell, Mulder was putty. He talked a good game about not believing her and not playing into her tricks, but then she saw them dancing and kissing, as if it was old times, and the floor fell out from beneath her. She simply wanted to be swallowed up and never heard from again. One minute he was admitting his fear of fire to her, the next he was swapping spit with his ex. The sudden, intimate moments made her so happy that he was opening up to her, but then he would do something to wipe that slate clean. Two steps forward, three steps back, almost as if he was self-sabotaging his life. 

She hates to admit it, but when he swatted her hand away as she wiped his forehead while he was getting oxygen, she actually wanted to hit him. If it had been Phoebe who had done it, he would have accepted it freely, but her touch was forbidden. The jealously was practically oozing out of her, but she stayed with him anyway. She stayed until he woke up, and somehow she hoped that when he did open his eyes, he’d be back to the Mulder she knew, the one that wasn’t afraid to touch her, the one who openly flirted with her just to get a rise out of her. Yet, he was the same Mulder when he woke, and she found herself disappointed that he wanted to know where Phoebe was. 

When all was said and done, Phoebe went home, once again using Mulder for her own benefit and leaving him alone and confused. Scully tried to lighten the mood by utilizing her British accent when she asked Mulder if he “cared to take her to lunch,” but it didn’t work. Mulder had been burned once again, and it would take some time to get him back to the man he’d been before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate Phoebe with the energy of a thousand suns. I really hoped Scully would get a chance to knock her lights out. Oh well. Thanks for reading!


	5. Pheromones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evergreen meaning - timeless, enduring, ageless, classic.
> 
> My work is free to read on AO3. It may not be shared on any other website or platform EXCEPT AO3. Please do not tip, subscribe, or pay for Fanfic Pocket Archive Library or any fanfic apps! I do not receive any money. These app’s are making money off my work.

It was December of 1992 when the change back to HER Mulder began to appear. Slowly, but surely, Mulder came back to her. She lost her father that month, and Mulder was surprised to see her at work so soon after. He called her Dana, and she laughed at the odd sound her name made coming out of his mouth. Everyone called her Dana. She didn’t want him to use that name for her.

She adored her father, but was never sure how he felt about her. She was always seeking his approval, or more likely, his love. Out of everyone she knew, she aspired to please her father the most; until Mulder. Not even Daniel or Jack could take that status. Mulder, though…she wanted to please him, despite the problems in their relationship, despite his melancholy moods and her fear of commitment. That’s why she came back so early. Maybe somewhere in her unconscious, she wanted him to worry about her, worry that she was using work to avoid her feelings about her father. Maybe she wanted him to pay attention to her. She refused to think too much about that unconscious state, though. There wasn’t enough time, as their 13th case with Luther Boggs was about to enter her life.

After her father’s funeral, she and Mulder sought out Boggs to catch a murderer. To this day, she can’t explain what the hell happened in that jail cell. Did she really see her father? Did Boggs really speak to the dead? Could he really access her history and know what she was thinking? She relied on science to support theory, but no science could explain Boggs knowledge. With her father’s death fresh in her mind, Boggs’ words served to confuse her until she didn’t know what to believe or who to trust.

The Boggs case was probably the beginning of her “believing,” because she couldn’t come up with a valid scientific theory how Boggs knew everything he knew. When she told Mulder the truth about how she found the warehouse, she thought he would be pleased that she was slowly becoming a believer. He surprised her though. He was furious that she put herself in danger, but more than that, he was disappointed that she’d lied on her police report. Rather than say she believed Boggs, she said the opposite. Frankly, she was disappointed in herself, but she was still that “good girl” that towed the party line and did what she was told. She wasn’t as bold as Mulder. She couldn’t be the lone wolf that he was.

Shortly after telling Mulder how much she loved her job, he called her Dana again. This time she didn't mind, because she realized why he was using her first name during this case. It wasn’t Boggs. It was because she had lost her father, and he knew she was vulnerable. He knew she was still raw. He knew she needed to hear her name to keep her grounded.

Very quickly after that, she heard the shot, and with a sickening dread, knew that Boggs vision had become reality. Instinct took over and she ran to see Mulder on the ground, surrounded in blood; the white cross above him. She froze in horror before removing her jacket and putting it over Mulder to keep him warm. Watching Mulder helplessly in the hospital with a gunshot wound, she closed her eyes as visions of her father, Boggs, and Mulder swam through her mind. She simply became unhinged.

She lost it with Boggs. She yelled and ranted and then broke down in front of him. She let her emotions get the better of her and fell right into the narrative he was telling. Was it the truth, or just a lie? She still didn’t know. What bugged her was she let him see her fear. She tried never to let anyone see her vulnerable, not even Mulder. Though, to be fair, she wasn’t very good at keeping it away from Mulder.

In the end, Boggs saved her, helped her catch the murderer and save the life of a victim. Yet, she couldn’t go the full “believer” path, so she convinced herself that Boggs visions were false; that he must have done research on her. When Mulder asked her why she couldn’t believe, she told him she was afraid to believe, and she was.

Mulder’s injury put them on desk duty while he healed. Frankly, Scully was exhausted and relished the time down in the basement. She needed to take a break from the monsters for a while, and sinking her teeth into paperwork was just the thing she needed. Mulder’s injury slowed him down a bit, and he relied on Scully to help him with certain things. They caught up on all paperwork for prior cases, and began to look into new case loads to take on. 

It was during this time that Mulder began to flirt with her again. When she would hand him a file he asked for, he would tell her thank you and add a “dear” at the end. She would role her eyes, turn around, and blush furiously. She would get lunch while he continued to work. When she came back and put his food in front of him, he would pat her lightly on her lower back as he said thank you; that same place he touched her to guide her through doors. She would reply quietly with a hum, secretly trying to keep a smile from appearing. When she needed him to sign off on paperwork, she would come to his side of the desk and lean over him, pointing to where he needed to look. She noticed him taking a few looks down her shirt, trying to sheepishly avert his eyes. Chills would break out across her skin and she would feel clammy all over. 

By the end of each day, she couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she drove home. She would smile through dinner, tv, a bath, her book, and find herself still smiling when bedtime arrived. She had to be Agent Scully at work, but away from that, she couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. It was like she had a secret no one knew. A secret that made her blush and smile and laugh at random moments when nothing funny had happened. The time came that they had to get back to cases. While she was happy about getting to work in the field, she couldn’t help but feel sad that her quiet time with Mulder was over. She wondered if the closeness she felt with him would stay or if another case would find its way between them.

Their 14th case turned out to be one that really stuck with Scully. She already loathed losing control in her life; after experiencing it twice at the hands of the Kindred, she was pretty shaken. The first time wasn’t that bad. It was almost like she zoned out for a few seconds during a conversation. The second time it happened in the bedroom of one of the Kindred, it was much more intense. She could remember talking to the man, and then he rubbed her hand as before. When he put his hand on her face, she remembers that she wanted to tell him to stop. She wanted to leave, but her mouth wouldn’t say anything. Her body was frozen. Her vision blurred. She tried to say no, but it only came out as a whisper. Inside, she felt like she was screaming it. She lost utter control of her body and mind. Mulder burst through the door before anything more could happen. He told her later he had to lift her off the bed as she was in a complete daze. He held her up as he took her outside and dealt with the Kindred. She remembers none of it.

Mulder was able to get her away and when she finally had some control over her body, she broke away from him. An overwhelming urge to throw up hit her, and she retched near the end of a fence. Mulder held her hair and patted her back in that same spot, soothing her until the nausea passed. He grabbed her hand and didn’t let go until they got back to their car. They drove back to town and he grabbed her some coffee. 

She had felt embarrassed that she’d trusted this man when he said he knew who the killer was. She could tell Mulder understood what he saw, but he was not happy about it. He didn’t blame her, but he was obviously upset that she was sexually assaulted by a stranger. He asked her if she would want to talk to someone when they got back home. She said maybe, but for right now, she could only concentrate on finding the killer. She met the same Kindred a while later, and he ended up knocking her out. They disappeared before any of them could be caught. They went home empty handed with an unsolved case. 

She tinkered with the idea of going to a therapist, but what would she say? A man touched her hand and put her under a spell and almost raped her as she was rendered mute? The more she tried to figure out how to say what happened to her, the more ludicrous it sounded. Even though she knew she’d been sexually assaulted, she let it go. She had no lingering psychological ailments, and no recurring nightmares. In fact, she got right back into her routine when she got home, and determined that the incident, though wrong and strange, was something her mind was able to handle on its own without outside help.

It was days later when Jack came to her for help with his current case, and everything went to shit. Jack was shot by Dupree, a murderer. Scully had to shoot Dupree before he turned the gun on her. Dupree ended up dying at the hospital right next to Jack, who was still being worked on. She had to intervene with the doctors to keep working on Jack, but they did, and he made it through. 

Looking back, Scully can see that something was wrong from the beginning with Jack. There were signs here and there that something was off with him after he was shot. She put it out of her mind as she was just so happy he was alive, but as an agent, she should have questioned what was going on more. Mulder could see it from the beginning, and she found herself questioning his motive instead of Jack. She felt like Mulder was jealous of her previous relationship with Jack, but she couldn’t be sure. 

When Jack kidnapped her though, and claimed he was Dupree, she honestly wanted to believe it. She just couldn’t believe Jack would ever do something like this. Yet, she tried as hard as she could to get Jack back, to pull Dupree out of him. She kept talking about their trip to Pine Barrens; how they drove up in a snowstorm the weekend after Thanksgiving to stay at his parent’s cabin, how he taught her to ice fish, how there was a red wood-burning stove and Jack wrapped her in blankets when the wood ran out. In the end, her Jack came back to her for just a moment, and she was so glad for it, as moments later he shot Lula and then died himself of a diabetic coma. 

While putting together his personal things, Mulder brought her the watch that Jack had worn; the one she got for him 3 years prior. Jack was an only child and both his parents were gone. He was a big brother to a young man he mentored, so Scully thought giving him these items would help in some way for the young man to deal with the loss. She debated keeping the watch, or some other trinket, but the pain of losing him, in that way, led her to think better of it. The next day, she dropped the box off to that young man, and sat with him a while as they talked about Jack. She lied about his death, of course. When she got home that night, she found she couldn’t cry anymore. If anything, she was hopeful that in death, Jack had hopefully found the peace that so often eluded him in life.

She thought about calling Mulder and asking him to come over and be with her; how she didn’t want to be alone and it was too quiet. In the end, she turned over and went to sleep, her dreams especially vivid and strange that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on this fic. Julia and I are so happy you are enjoying it xoxo


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